Disbelief

Yea, I’m still in disbelief, to be frank. It feels like a nightmare and it’s on a loop every single day. I wake up to nightmares every day and I have a hard time sleeping after. Just last night as I came home, there was a bag hanging on my door with my stuff in it from her and immediately this feeling of nothing just came rushing back. I’ve read a lot of articles online over the years and usually when things like this happen, it means one of them is moving on. As I went through the stuff in the bag, there were 2 letters I wrote when we were together and that made me realize that I do put in the effort while chasing and things just changed when I was in the relationship. 8 months of loving, arguing, seeing each other’s side that nobody has ever seen, was tiring but we went through it together as a team. She probably went through more than I did because I’m not an easy person to deal with (the people who have dated me can agree with that).

As much as I hate to accept the fact that this is over and she is with another guy, that’s reality and something I can never get over no matter the number of relationships I’ve been in. Thank you for being patient with me over the months, giving me chance after chance, yet I still treat you nowhere close to what you’re worth. I wish you nothing but the best, and all the happiness you deserve.