Lost my best friend

It’s been 4 months since I last wrote and I’ve got to admit that I lost interest in writing for a bit. I’ve been thinking since then whether I should start writing again and here I am, expressing my feelings than keeping them to myself. It was 20/5, 11 days before my birthday, I lost my dog, my best friend, my everything, girl girl. The worst part is I wasn’t even home when I lost her and when I got the message that we’ve lost her, my heart dropped. I know eventually, she might go but I’ll never be able to accept and be like “alright, goodbye.” I just sat there frozen while replaying the memories of us in my head over and over again. As that was going on, tears started to fall and the ugly crying began. I remember it was a Friday and I had training that day. I stopped by home before going to campus to visit my best friend before she was buried. When I got home, it felt like everything was normal and that’s when I thought to myself, “Is this all a prank?”. How could it be and why would anyone even joke about death? Then at the corner of my eyes, I saw girl girl wrapped in her blanket, lying on her pillow. I sat next to her, took the blanket off her, and burst into tears. I was face-to-face with my best friend and her eyes were still open. God knows what she went through before her last breath but I just hope it wasn’t painful. It was to the point where my heart hurt so badly and I didn’t know what to do. I just wish I had more time and appreciated how strong she was before her last day. Without any hesitation, I covered her with her blanket and walked out of home because I know if I were to stay longer, I might cry more and that’s not what I want. It still gets me whenever it rains because girl girl would come to me and look me in the eyes hoping I’d pick her up just so she can be close to me. The fear in her eyes could be seen and it makes me feel like I should give her the reassurance that everything is going to be okay. Whenever she’s beside me, especially on rainy days, she would take a nap. That’s how much she trusted me with her life about her safety. Now when it rains, I would always think what if she’s scared and has nowhere to go? Fly high baby girl, I know you’re in a better place now and I know you’ll forever be safe. I cannot wait till we reunite and I’ll miss you forever.