Productive day

Kinda surprised that i woke up around 7 since i struggled sleeping around 12ish. Played a total of 5 hours of badminton today and i gotta say, i’ve never felt more alive than today. Surprised myself more when i thought of waking up just when the sun rises and go for a run at the park. It’s probably is a start of recovery but we shall see what happens.

I’m over at my aunt’s place with my dad’s side of the family and we just had a reunion dinner. Why of all people, i feel so uncomfortable and awkward around them when i should feel comfortable? I was pretty much by myself in the corner eating and only talked when asked a question. I’m sitting in the living room as i’m writing this and the feeling of emptiness and loneliness are back but i’m fighting it.

I’m working on becoming stronger and better. I’m working on being okay with doing anything alone and i’ll rise again. This is a start. Write soon.